By Sarah King


As people age, everyone starts to see signs of their bodies slowing down. Sometimes things don't work as well as they used to. When you notice your husband being less attentive than usual and turning the television up louder and louder, you might question how well he hears. Even when he says he can hear just fine, you probably strongly suspect you are dealing with a husband hard of hearing.

He may not want to admit it, and getting him to see an audiologist might be a real struggle, but you must do whatever necessary to convince to get his hearing tested. You might need to set up the appointment, drive him to it, and keep him company in the waiting room. If you're right and he has a problem, you both have to decide what to do next.

The audiologist will sit down with both of you and explain exactly what the issues are, how much loss there is, and what your spouse can expect going forward. The doctor may recommend hearing aids or cochlear implants as the best course of action. It's not a life threatening situation however, and your spouse has time to decide how he wants to handle it.

Now that you know exactly what the problem is, there are ways you can help your spouse. When talking to him, face him and look him in the eye. If he is standing with his back to you, you can reach out and touch his back or shoulder to let him know you're behind him. Background noises interfere with conversation. Instead of trying to talk over the television, turn it off or down. Yelling is counterproductive. Exaggerated enunciation is insulting.

When you are at the grocery store, mall, or in a restaurant, you can't avoid the background noise. Gesturing and pointing, which is usually considered rude, is perfectly acceptable under these circumstances. Chewing, covering your mouth, and smoking all interfere with your husband's ability to understand you. A lot of patience is extremely important. Your spouse is no longer pretending he can't hear you. Laughing, if it's mutual, can relieve a lot of tension.

Your husband is not an invalid, and you aren't required to treat him like one. He has a responsibility to help you as well. He can tell when something you do makes it harder for him to hear you. He will have to handle public situations. He will have to learn to listen. You may have been telling him this for years, but now he doesn't really have a choice.

It's very important that you plan what to do in an emergency. There are special devices available to help with this. They can be visual, auditory and tactile. Some vibrate, and others flash.

If you have a spouse who is going through a hearing loss, one of the best things you can do is accept whatever stage of acceptance he is in. This is a personal struggle, but one he doesn't have to face alone. That's what partnership in marriage is all about.




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