By Kathleen Myers


Life is a journey with many ups and downs. There is no doubt that many of us have had to deal difficult situations at one time or the other. In some cases, the emotions are so overwhelming and one may feel that they are being driven to the edge. When raw emotions are triggered, they have the potential to lead to self destruction and severe relationships with the people we love the most. It is important for everyone to learn how to regain control over themselves whenever they find themselves in such situations.

Psychologists often use the term emotional flooding to refer to a state of overwhelming emotions. These emotions tend to be overwhelming and come suddenly hence the use of a flooding metaphor. Although the feelings are usually mixed, one of them will predominate. This may be a feeling such as anger, anxiety, sadness or happiness. The predominant emotion often changes over time.

The triggers of deep emotions are varied. They include, for instance, the recalling of past events, the thought or present stressors and worrying about a difficult future. When one gets lost in these thoughts, they recreate traumatic experiences over and over a situation that only makes things worse. One needs to learn how to adapt on how to deflect such negative thoughts.

One of the things that can help us keep our feet on the ground during the unpleasant times is to utilize controlled behaviour. Deep belly breathing and other manoeuvres to help with muscular relaxation have been shown to minimize stress. The benefits come in as small incremental improvements. The emotional flooding will tend to recur hence the need to keep practising the deep breathing. Practising regularly makes it easier to do it during the stressful situations.

Steps should be undertaken to identify the feelings involved. Acknowledging and accepting the feelings will start off the process of getting better. Without doing this, one will end up in a closed emotional loop in which the emotions are likely to feed on themselves and worsen the situation.

Turning back to your support system is also very helpful. Many people will only let their loved ones know of their troubles when things get out of hand. This should not be the case. Rather, getting in touch with your loved ones early enough will help control form of the negative thoughts and feelings right from the start. Trusted colleagues, friends, relatives and religious leaders are all potential sources of much needed support.

It is important to take a step back. This will allow you to take stock of your emotions and plan on the best way to respond. This means that you literally have to set aside some time to think about your feelings. It is not easy to make major decisions with so many other things playing out in the background. You will be surprised to discover that some cases are just an overreaction that was not warranted.

Dealing with feelings such as shock, sadness, confusion and anger is not always easy. All these can lead to self destruction if not handled in the right manner. The most important thing is to remember what exactly it is that one is feeling before they can come up with solutions on how to deal with them. Asking for help from a trusted friend or colleague is show of strength rather than weakness.




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